Finding Balance

Do you have trouble finding balance in your life? Maybe it's a balance between work and personal time. Or work, personal time, and your partner. Perhaps work, personal time, your partner, and kids. Better yet, work, personal time, your partner, kids, and aging parents (and if that's the case, you have my full sympathy). Wow, and we haven't even talked about friends!

In my humble opinion, I think there are few of us who aren't trying to maintain some sort of balance in our lives. Speaking for myself, I try to balance work, a husband, and aging parents (mine AND my in-laws). Sure, there are times when one part of our lives need more attention than others (i.e., when my mother went to the ER via ambulance). When that happens, we can get a little (heck, VERY) stressed, exhausted, and unsettled.

So, minus unexpected emergencies, how are we supposed to keep balanced for the most part? Wondering about the answer(s) to this question, I turned to the books (naturally):

• Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman (158.12 BUR, Libby) The subtitle of the book says it all: "Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts." 
• The Good Caregiver by Robert L. Kane (649.8 KAN) Written by a medical doctor who was a caregiver to his own mother after she experienced a stroke, this book addresses caring for the aging parent as well as the caregiver.
• Tidy Up Your Life by Tyler Moore (Libby) The author (a.k.a. "Tidy Dad" on Instagram) discusses not only tidying your home physically, but also tidying yourself emotionally and finding your own definition of "good enough."
• Positive Discipline for Today's Busy (and Overwhelmed) Parent by Jane Nelson (Libby) Offers guidance on how to parent well and effectively without giving up on your own goals in life, creating balance between family and work.
• Chained to the Desk in a Hybrid World by Bryan E. Robinson (Libby)  In a world where the lines of work and life are blurred thanks to cell phones and other forms of technology, this book claims to help workaholics recover from workaholism.

Of course, there are many more books (in addition to internet resources) beside those I listed above.

As much as some of us may want or try to "have it all," the reality is we're human and we're capable of doing only so much. Luckily for us, there are a number of books and other resources to help no matter our situation.

Wishing you a good life balance from the perch.

Children and Social Media

This past December, Australia became the first country to ban social media for children under the age of 16. The shock around the world was perceptible. How was Australia going to actually do this? Would it help protect kids from cyberbullying and disturbing content?

Social media is something I do every day. While I wait at the perch for patrons to come to me with questions or checkouts, I'm often managing the library's social media accounts--on Facebook, X, and Instagram--along with this blog that you're reading. I see what's trending on the feeds, and I scan through the news outlets to see if anything is happening in the literary or real world that's worth posting. Social media is important for advertising the library, our programs, and any other information we need to impart.

In my private life, however, I rarely use social media. Yes, I do have a Facebook account, but I don't check it often and I hardly ever post anything, especially information that's too personal. I suppose I'm a strange Gen-Xer who grew up without the internet. I played outside and rode my bike to friends. Bullying may have happened at school, but home was a safe place. The phone (a landline rotary) was used only for talking. If I wanted to know something, I went to the library to use an encyclopedia or the card catalog to look up where a book was located. I'm comfortable using current technology (and even help others navigate it in the library), but I choose when to use it and when to unplug from it.

Australia wants to let kids be kids, and other countries are contemplating whether to follow its example. Despite some Australian kids finding ways onto social media platforms despite the tighter restrictions, many are spending more time outside, with family, and with friends. They are interacting more with each other in person. They are also doing more things offline.

What are your thoughts about children using or not using social media? Share with us!

Wishing you a good online-offline balance from the perch.

Celebrating Friendship

Thanks to Amy Poehler, we have Galentine's Day (it also goes by Palentine's Day). Taking place every February 13, it's a day to celebrate friendships with the besties in your life. 

There's no pressure to buy chocolates or flowers like that other over-commercialized holiday that comes the following day (although I have seen Galentine's Day cards in stores). On G/P Day, it's all about hanging out and doing something fun with those who always have your back--watching a movie, going out to eat, playing board games, singing karaoke, or doing whatever else you enjoy together.

So in the spirit of the holiday, here are some DVDs (all available at our library) that celebrate friendships:

• The Bucket List  An average guy (Morgan Freeman) and a rich guy (Jack Nicholson), with little in common beside cancer, pair up to do various activities before they kick the bucket. 
• Hidden Figures  Three black American women working for NASA in the 1960s bond together against the sexism and racism they face.
• The Joy Luck Club  Four Chinese women become friends in San Francisco as they raise their Chinese-American daughters.
• The King's Speech  King George VI (Colin Firth) overcomes his speech impediment with the help of his speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush), with whom he develops a deep friendship.
• Legally Blonde  Sorority sisters stick together through thick and thin when one of them (Reese Witherspoon) decides to go to Harvard Law School.
• The Lord of the Rings  One of the greatest bromances of all time: hobbits Frodo and Sam risk everything to go to Mordor together and defeat Sauron, the Dark Lord.
• Miss Congeniality  Beauty pageant contestants may be rivals, but they'll also stand by you...and want world peace.
• Mystic Pizza  Three girls after high school become tight-knit friends while working at a pizzeria.
• The Shawshank Redemption  Andy (Tim Robbins) and Red (Morgan Freeman) have a bromance that helps them survive a notorious prison for decades and gives them hope for a better future outside its stone walls.
• Top Gun: Maverick  You can't help but feel the close on- and off-screen friendship between Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer, who plays in his last movie role before his untimely death.

There are so many more DVDs depicting stories of friendships in addition to the ones I've included in this list. Which ones would you recommend? Share with us!

Wishing you a Happy Galentine's/Palentine's (and Valentine's) Day from the perch.

Books to Beat the Winter Blues

Can you remember when you last saw the sun in the Spokane area? Me neither. Normally, I don't mind cloudy, gloomy, moody winter days. They're great for snuggling with a cozy blanket on the sofa, having a cup of warm tea (or your beverage of choice), and reading a good book. I have to admit, though, that this long stretch of bleak weather is starting to get to me, and I'm guessing you as well?

Beside putting on the lights, getting some fresh air outside, and taking some extra vitamin D, there are always books to help us beat the winter blues. Here are some of my picks that can be found in our library or online:

• Life on Svalbard by Cecilia Blomdahl (BT 948.1 BLO, Libby/Overdrive) If you think we have dark, cloudy days here, imagine having polar night (no sunrise for months in the winter). Blomdahl shares her year-round experiences living on Svalbard, an island close to the North Pole, through text and fantastic photos.
• The Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown (F BRO, Libby/Overdrive) In the mood for an entertaining page-turner? Brown doesn't disappoint his Robert Langdon fans with his thriller that takes them to various landmarks around Prague and other fascinating locales.
• An Academic Affair by Jodi McAlister (Libby/Overdrive) As a former academic myself, I find it rare to come across a fictional book about academia that's rooted in today's reality with a little not-too-mushy romance on the side.
• The Incredible Kindness of Paper by Evelyn Skye (BT F Skye) After the main character loses her job as a high school guidance counselor, she unwittingly starts a worldwide, feel-good trend of making origami paper roses with hopeful messages inside.
• The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking (158.1 WIK) If you need some help in having a more positive outlook on winter, do as the Danes do--wear comfy socks, have a pastry, light candles, watch a movie, read a book, and do other things that help you to savor, not just survive, the season.

Which favorite books of yours are winter blues busters? Share with us!

Wishing you cozy reads on grey days from the perch.

New Year for You

The holidays are over. After all the merrymaking and getting together with loved ones, perhaps you're feeling a little sad. Or, if you were a busy elf in charge of different things (decorating, cooking, gift buying, gift wrapping, clean up), you might be happy that they're over. Maybe even a bit drained?

Those of you who are parents or caring for parents (me) will probably understand what I mean. Don't get me wrong--I love spending time with my family, but having the pressure of making the end-of-the-year holidays (from Halloween to New Year's) enjoyable for everyone really takes it out of me, both physically and mentally.

It seems like after the togetherness of the December holidays, many of us tend to focus on ourselves in the New Year with resolutions (I prefer calling them intentions). It's important that we remind ourselves that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for our own well-being. As they say on planes, put on your own oxygen mask first before you help others.

Keep in mind that self-care can be anything you enjoy doing that relaxes your mind and your body. It can be something that makes you feel well physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. There are other types of self-care, such as financial and educational, but the bottom line is that self-care is about taking care of you. 

Interested in learning more about self-care and ways to help yourself? Here are some articles I recommend:

• 5 Types of Self-Care for Every Area of Your Life Very Well Mind
• 50 self-care activities to do when you don't know where to start Mental Health America
• What is self-care? Global Self-Care Federation

Wishing you a peaceful and mindful new year from the perch.

Remember What's Important

I think I've become a holiday humbug. Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Christmas in Rockefeller Center this year, rather than seeing balloons, decorations, and smiling performers, all I saw was commercialism, greed, and capitalism at its worst. Every float advertised a business or company, from Disney to Rao's spaghetti sauce. Singers with new albums were performing to advertise themselves. Instead of enjoying the entertainment, I felt my mood increasingly turn Grinch-like.

My husband told me those negative traits of the parade and show were always there, but we just never noticed them as kids. And as a kid growing up in the Hudson River Valley, taking a trip into New York City at Christmastime always felt magical and exciting--the huge tree lit up in Midtown Manhattan, the holiday window displays at Saks and other stores on 5th Avenue, the Christmas show with the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. 

Now, however, in addition to TV commercials, we're bombarded with store advertising through social media and practically every click we make on the internet. I understand this is the biggest time of year for stores across the board, but come on. Tone down the "buy, buy, buy" for things we don't want or even need. Yes, I am among those who think it's ironic that just one day after Thanksgiving, a holiday celebrating gratitude for what you have, so many rush out to get even more stuff.

So, what is the purpose of this post beside ranting and humbugging? I guess I'd just like everyone to remember what's really important about the holidays (no matter which ones you observe)--the people in our lives. Whether they're family by blood or family by choice, co-workers or people who provide us with services. Spend time with them, tell them what they mean to you, appreciate them. Even a smile or a hello to someone you don't know is a precious gift these days when manners and courtesy seem to have gone the way of the dinosaurs.

Wishing you and yours kindness and the gift of being together from the perch.

Image Source: Pixabay

An Introvert's Holiday Season

Many of you see me, your friendly neighborhood perch librarian, happily making conversation with patrons checking out books or needing help around the library. Catching me in action, you'd think I'm a social butterfly who can't stop talking. Well, you'd be mistaken. I'm an introvert and HSP who's good with people one-on-one but shrinks back from crowds. That's why I don't look forward to the holiday season.

And when I'm hosting (as I'm doing for Thanksgiving this year), I feel more stressed and out of my element. Even when it's just family and close friends, I'm agitated by the shopping, the preparations, the cooking, and making sure everyone is comfortable and having what they need. At a routine checkup yesterday, my doctor thought my heart was racing due to white coat syndrome, but I told her I was just thinking of all the things I need to do for the holiday.

Does this sound like you? Are you in my boat? If you are, I've been researching what can make the holidays easier on us introverts. Some believe setting the proper atmosphere in your home with space, lighting, and room temperature is key. For others, joining an online community for introverts can help with posting concerns and reading what others suggest. In the thick of it all, it's okay to give yourself permission to take a mini-break to recharge, whether that's in the bathroom, outdoors for a moment (or two), or taking an inconspicuous deep, slow breath at the dinner table. And of course, it's important to prepare for an introvert hangover by setting aside some quiet time to rest, read, watch a show, etc. (in other words, do some self-care).

Thankfully, my husband understands what I go through hosting the holidays and tries to help out in any way he can. Even though I enjoy my family and holidays together, I still can't help feeling stressed and waiting for downtime to follow. However, if I feel overwhelmed by holiday-making, you can bet the bathroom will be my temporary sanctuary and recharging station.

Wishing everyone a happy (and, hopefully, calm) holiday season from the perch.

Image Source: Medium.com